Archives: April 2010

precious illusions

“Precious Illusions”
by Alanis Morissette

You’ll rescue me right?
In the exact same way they never did…
I’ll be happy right?
When your healing powers kick in

You’ll complete me right?
Then my life can finally begin
I’ll be worthy right?
Only when you realise the gem I am?

But this won’t work now the way it once did
And I won’t keep it up even though I would love to
Once I know who I’m not then I’ll know who I am
But I know I won’t keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was defenceless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

This ring will help me yet
As will you knight in shining armour
This pill will help me yet
As will these boys gone through like water

But this won’t work as well as the way it once did
Cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
And though I know who I’m not I still don’t know who I am
But I know I won’t keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I’ve spent so long firmly looking outside me
I’ve spent so much time living in survival mode

This won’t work now the way it once did
Cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
Now I know who I’m not
I don’t I still don’t know who I am
But I know I won’t keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was defenceless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

These precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

that particular time

“That Particular Time”
by Alanis Morissette

My foundation was rocked
My try and true way to deal was to vanish
My departures were old
I stood in the room shaking in my boots

At that particular time
Love had challenged me to stay
At that particular moment
I knew not to run away again
That particular month
I was ready to investigate with you
At that particular time

We thought a break would be good
For four months we sat and vacillated
We thought a small time apart
Would clear up the doubts that were abounding

At that particular time
Love encouraged me to wait
At that particular moment
It helped me to be patient
That particular month
We needed time to marinate in what “us” meant
At that particular time

I’ve always wanted for you
What you’ve wanted for yourself
And yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
And in the meantime I lost myself
In the meantime I lost myself
I’m sorry I lost myself, I am

You knew you needed more time
Time spent alone with no distraction
You felt you needed to fly
Solo and high to define what you wanted

At that particular time
Love encouraged me to leave
At that particular moment
I knew staying with you meant deserting me
That particular month
Was harder than you’d believe but I still left
At that particular time