Sometimes life doesn’t quite take us exactly where we planned to be.
Not that I really had a plan as such.
In fact, to be honest, I rarely plan anything.
When you have kids, something happens that changes you. All of a sudden you’re identified as “so-and-so’s mum” rather than just as yourself. It takes a lot of getting used to at first.
Sometimes I resented it with every fibre of my being, that loss of myself.
But you get used to it. You become that person. You have more kids, you’re redefined again. and again. and again. With any luck you still keep that core of yourself, but you evolve around it, becoming that “mum” identity.
So how do you deal with it when all that changes again?
When you’re still so-and-so’s mum. But they’re not here with you.
How do you reconcile that they’re still doing all the usual things that they do every day.
But you’re not there to see it.
They come to visit, you can pretend it’s like things never changed.
But then they go again.
And you miss them.
Miss all the silly things they do that make you laugh.
Miss all the hugs, the constant hanging off you that makes you want to scream.
Miss the annoying things that drive you nuts.
Miss them all so much.
I’m thankful for the laughter, smiles and memories from this last week of holidays with my boys.
For the rest of the family who are here every day inbetween, keep me busy and make me laugh.
For the teenager who keeps telling me it’s all going to be ok.
For my other half who is walking with me every step of this journey.
And that tomorrow is a new day. every day.
It’s Thankful Thursday again with Kate @katesaysstuff.