I am not the sum of my opinions…

Lee @ Mummy Issues Part 2 wants to know our opinions…
So being the entirely opinionated person I am, I figured I should join in on the fun! 😉

Labour or Liberal – generally vote Green or independent
Carbon tax – in principle, yes
Mining tax – sure
Uranium export – um, no thanks!
Asylum seekers/ Refugees – yes, give them a chance, otherwise we’re as bad as the place they’re running from
Climate change – can’t continue to be ignored
Wind farms – absolutely, although more solar energy would be better
Marriage equality – abso-freakin-lutely YES!!!
Abortion – I am pro-choice but it’s not a choice I could make for myself
Death penalty – No way
Organ donation – if I’ve got something useful after I’m dead, then sure, go for it
Contraception – yes, along with more education about using it
Controlled crying – no
Sleep training – no
Smacking – no
Swearing – I’m an expert
North or south of the river – apparently this is a Melbourne thing… but I’ll say south! 😛
Life after death – I think we all continue on somehow, just not sure of the specifics
God? – no way. If others want to believe it then that’s their thing, but don’t force it on me
Football code – haven’t watched football in years, but if I had to choose it would be AFL
Football team – bugger football, how about roller derby!
Netball or basketball – do I have to choose? cos I’d still prefer roller derby!!!

Down the rabbit hole

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

 

I have to confess right here at the start that I was never a big fan of Alice as a child! I struggled to get through Alice in Wonderland and gave up part way into Through the Looking-Glass! I haven’t tried again as an adult, but it’s on my list of things to do. (yep, it’s a very long list!)

But the idea of it has always appealed to me.

Sometimes everything can seem so backwards and indistinct, a bit like like looking at it in a mirror with a different perspective from the rest of the world. That doesn’t mean that my perspective is wrong, just a little different. And as a supposedly grown-up person, I’ve learned that being different is OK.

So welcome to my topsy-turvy world! Hang on tight and enjoy the ride!
I can’t promise that everything will always make sense, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy the experience if you take things at face value rather than trying to work out the why and how of where they came from.

 

a moment of truth

It’s crazy, it’s insane, it never stops. It’s one thing after another, things getting piled on top of other things that already seemed like too much to handle.
It’s laughing hysterically, it’s crying uncontrollably, it’s the constant change of emotions, it’s out of control.
It’s hectic, chaotic, wonderful, totally unpredictable.

…but it’s my life.

If I accept it as it is and live it, rather than waiting for things to ‘get better’, then I won’t waste a moment of it waiting for something that may never eventuate.

things I’ve learnt in the past six months…

Change is inevitable and necessary and not always bad.

Sometimes the right decision is also the hardest one to carry through.

I can do anything, if I just believe in myself.

Finding myself is an ongoing journey.

I am stronger than I realised.

Sometimes true strength means realising you can’t do it on your own and asking for and accepting help.

It’s hard to be honest with yourself when you’ve been denying the truth for a long time.

Sometimes it’s necessary and OK to cry.

It’s easy to say “it’s not my fault” but sometimes hard to really believe that. Accepting it brings peace of mind.

My kids are amazingly resilient.

There is always a choice.

Some days you just can’t carry through with what you had planned to do. And that’s OK. There’s usually other things that you will do instead that are equally important.

Breathing is really important!

Happiness is sometimes found in entirely unexpected places.

Running to stand still

Running to Stand Still
U2

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was lyin’ still.
Said I gotta do something
About where we’re goin’.

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night.
Singing ah, ah la la la de day
Ah la la la de day.

Sweet the sin, bitter the taste in my mouth.
I see seven towers, but I only see one way out.
You gotta cry without weeping, talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice.
You know I took the poison, from the poison stream
Then I floated out of here, singing
Ah la la la de day
Ah la la la de day.

She walks through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain.
In through a doorway
She brings me white golden pearls
Stolen from the sea.

She is ragin’
She is ragin’
And the storm blows up in her eyes.
She will suffer the needle chill
She’s running to stand still.

Trouble

Trouble
by P!nk

No attorneys
To plead my case
No orbits
To send me into outta space
And my fingers
Are bejeweled
With diamonds and gold
But that ain’t gonna help me now

I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I disturb my town
I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town

You think your right
But you were wrong
You tried to take me
But I knew all along
You can take me
For a ride
I’m not a fool now
So you better run and hide

I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town
I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town

If you see me coming
Down the street then
You know it’s time to
Go (and you know it’s time to go
cause here comes trouble)

No attorneys
To plead my case
No orbits
To send me into outta space
And my fingers
Are bejeweled
With diamonds and gold
But that ain’t gonna help me now

You think your right
But you were wrong
You tried to take me
But I knew all along
You can take me
For a ride
Cause I’m not a fool now
So you better run and hide

I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I disturb my town
I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town

So if you see me coming
Down the street then
You know it’s time to
Go (go-oh-oh..I got)

Trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town
I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town

Trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town
I’m trouble
Yeah trouble now
I’m trouble ya’ll
I got trouble in my town
I got trouble in my town
I got trouble in my town

my work here is done!

For the second morning in a row, I’ve had to be up at some obscene hour of the morning! In fact, today was worse, because the alarm was set for 5.30am, which makes yesterday’s 6.30am seem almost reasonable!

Today I was dropping R and her friend M off at school (by 6.45am) so that they could catch the bus down to the Gold Coast to participate in the Opti-Minds Challenge. I have to say that considering what time they went to bed last night they did well!

Anyway, a random conversation between M and another team-mate J while we were all walking to the classroom to carry stuff to the the bus, struck me as funny…

J – oh, so that’s R’s mum!

M – yeah

me (curiously) – who did you think I was??

J – oh I’m not sure, just some random person

awesome! I look random! pmsl!

and later on, standing freezing near the bus…

J (looking first at R then at me) – yeah, you do look pretty similar now I think about it

me – well yeah, that would make sense, considering that I gave birth to her and everything 😉

J (to R) – you know I’m never going to be able to look at you the same way again after hearing that!

score one to me! Does that rate on the ‘most embarrassing things ever’ scale?? R didn’t seem too fazed by the conversation! Guess she’s gotten used to me by now! Maybe I’m going to have to try harder!

oh, and in a slightly related, but maybe not really, train of thought… what is it with all the packs of bike riders that are out and about between 6.30 – 7am on a Sunday morning? I mean seriously, it’s freakin’ cold people! I can’t believe that there’s so many of you who get up voluntarily at the crack of dawn! And seem to enjoy it!!

So now I’m here at 7.30am on a Sunday morning, wide awake (thanks to the second cup of coffee that is warming up my fingers right now) so I can’t even go back to bed! Guess I’m going to have to do something useful!!

What I’ve done

“What I’ve Done”
by Linkin Park

In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

I’ll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

I’ll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!

I’ll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done